Rock and Roll Will Never Die, But It Will Probably Get Really Old and Wrinkly and Just Gross Looking In General

In my English class today, my professor briefly ripped on the mortality of rock and roll. Because we were talking about Oscar Wilde. Anyway, her quick joke about rock and roll music being middle aged, citing The Rolling Stones a being more of a brand than actual rock, reminded me about all those other signs of mortality in the music scene. Most discussions about the death of the music industry tend to be about the death of the album, or the death of the record label, and so on and so forth, but very little seems to be about the death of the band itself. Let’s look at three recent-ish examples of this: the “wait, they’re not actually dead yet?” band, the “oh my god, they’re finally dead?” band, and the “is nothing sacred anymore please oh please stay dead” band.

• The “wait, they’re not actually dead yet?” band

The most recent of all the following examples (I’m in college, guys. It’s hard to stay punctual! P.S. Scribblenauts first impressions coming soon!), apparently Steven Page left Aerosmith earlier this week or last week or something (interestingly enough, to work on “the brand of myself – Brand Tyler”). Well, since I couldn’t actually remember when it was, I Googled it, and since then the statements have been revised to say the opposite, that Steven Tyler’s “not quitting Aerosmith”. So… there you go. I mean, sure, from what I understand, they’re still a good show, but I’m reasonably certain they’re not really doing anything new and exciting in the music industry. I mean, their last album of original material was released in 2001, and Wikipedia claims they’re working on a new album for 2010, but are people terribly excited about that? Will a single song off of that album really be incorporated into their canon?

• The “oh my god, they’re finally dead?” band

So Oasis broke up. Noel quit the band, and then Liam announced Oasis “is no longer”, so, yeah, it sounds like that’s about it for Oasis. Although apparently this isn’t anything terribly new for them. I wasn’t really around during their heyday or anything, but from what I’ve picked up on, the two of them kind of hate each other. So who knows if they’re coming back or not. I just think it’s interesting that even though they’re mostly notable for their early 90s material, they actually do have new stuff from last year or so on the radio. So they’re somewhat topical? I guess?

• The “is nothing sacred anymore please oh please stay dead” band

So apparently Bud Gaugh and Eric Wilson tried to pull off a Sublime reunion. Yeah. What can you say about that? You know, aside from how singer/guitarist/creative force/frontman Bradley Nowell died thirteen years ago, and it’s kind of hard to really pull together a legitimate reunion when you have to replace all those things. And, also, the legal rights. This one was kind of silly and almost worrying, but I guess it could have been worse. This Rome Ramirez guy doesn’t really sound too much like Bradley, but, all things considered, the music didn’t actually sound that bad (as I can tell based on the three or four songs I saw on YouTube), and trying to take Nowell’s place probably took some serious balls. Still, that being said, it’s a good thing a judge banned the new lineup from actually performing as Sublime, because, well, it isn’t. It’d be like if Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl grabbed a new singer/guitarist and claimed Nirvana was reuniting, except Sublime wasn’t really as good or important as Nirvana. Yup. I went there. Let’s see the fight in the comments, people! Or just comments, really. Or at least some views on an article I’ve written that isn’t that Pokemon thing that’s gotten 2000 more hits than my next most popular article. Seriously. The internet is weird.