It’s been years since the last Harry Potter novel was released, and less than a month until the last movie comes out. Millions of fans, and myself, have been anticipating this moment with mixed feelings, as it is effectively the end of Harry Potter, which has been a huge part of our lives and childhoods – until now. J.K. Rowling has just announced new details about the mysterious Pottermore, but only sort of. Details are still incredibly vague. All we really know about it comes from a video where she describes Pottermore as a “free website that builds an exciting online experience around the reading of the Harry Potter books”. It may sound like this sort of thing already exists all over the internet in fansites and forums, but something about Pottermore will be unique, apparently. However, all we really know about it is that in some way the audiobooks and highly-anticipated ebooks will be involved, and we have to wait until October to find out what it is, unless you manage to get in early on July 31st.
Or do we?
Friends, I have exciting, exclusive, top-secret news for you about Pottermore. Sources close to Rowling and the team behind Pottermore have been in close contact with Angry Postcards From Nihilist Penguins, and have leaked some secret information about what Pottermore actually is, which I am here to share with you, here, for the first time anywhere.

Pottermore will be a massively-multiplayer online role-playing game, where players will create their very own character to play the game by “exploring the landscape, fighting various monsters, completing quests, and interacting with non-player characters (NPCs) or other players”. Keeping in line with the Harry Potter storyline, players must choose to be either a member of the opposing factions of the Order of the Phoenix or the Death Eaters, referred to in-game as the “Alliance” and the “Horde”, respectively. An anonymous source leaked to Angry Postcards From Nihilist Penguins whose name may or may not rhyme with Schmaniel Schmadcliffe tells us that:
“As characters become more developed, they gain various talents and skills, requiring the player to further define the abilities of that character. Professions such as tailoring, blacksmithing, and mining can be learned. Much of
World of WarcraftPottermore play involves “questing”. These quests, also called “tasks” or “missions”, are usually available from NPCs. Quests usually reward the player with some combination of experience points, items, and in-game money. Quests also allow characters to gain access to new skills and abilities, and explore new areas.Characters may also form and join guilds, allowing characters within the guild access to the guild’s chat channel, the guild name and optionally allowing other features, including a guild tabard, guild bank, and dues.”
Another source responsible for programming Pottermore provides more insight into these “quests”, saying that “Quests commonly involve killing a number of creatures, gathering a certain number of resources, finding a difficult to locate object, speaking to various NPCs, visiting specific locations, interacting with objects in the world, or delivering an item from one place to another.”
These sources were naturally very quiet as to what kind of magic the player will be able to learn, whether all the spells from the books will be included, including the unforgiveable curses such as the Avada Kadavra killing curse, and what the conditions might be for using such evil magic. However, they did leak the names of three brand new spells created just for Pottermore, including “Blizzard”, “Rain of Fire”, and “Bloodlust”, as well as confirming that “that stupid Flippendo spell from the other video games will not be included. What the hell was that thing all about?”

These sources were asked which of the well-known magical creatures from the Harry Potter universe would be included, as well as the possibility of any main characters from the series, such as the titular Harry Potter himself. Unfortunately, nobody was willing to share any of these details quite yet, but a source who may or may not be J.K. Rowling’s daughter did tease us with the information that the developers were talking to Rowling about the possibility of releasing “expansion packs” in the future based on the beloved titles in the series such as Harry Potter and the Burning Crusade and Harry Potter and the Wrath of the Lich King.

Frustratingly few details about Pottermore are still actually known, but this leaked information seems to ensure that Pottermore will be an exciting and faithful continuation of the world of Harry Potter loved by millions across the world.
SPOILERS:
It’s going to be fanfiction.net for the harry potter universe.
yes it will fail miserably.
yes it will be populated mostly by pedophiles.
yes this is a blatant cashgrab by rowling.
By: Jack on June 23, 2011
at 4:15 pm
You get 500 experience points every time your fanfiction has two characters that hate each other sleep together.
By: spiffymcpantsman on June 23, 2011
at 4:21 pm
x2 multiplier if they’re turned into vampires.
Also 50,000 self-insert characters. They literally have to construct 4 new schools to house all the new students.
By: Jack on June 23, 2011
at 4:25 pm
I love both of you. Even though I have no idea who this “Jack” person is.
By: Dr. Scholarton on June 23, 2011
at 7:09 pm
I think itis gonig to be outstanding and that the people leaving cruel remarks should stop extinguishing the spark of hope that Harry will continue to live on not only in the hearts, mind, and physical world but also the internet.
By: Emma on July 10, 2011
at 4:38 pm
I agree with you.
By: Annabeth on July 10, 2011
at 4:39 pm
Hey, I want Harry Potter to live on forever too. I was mainly just making fun of how little information there is about Pottermore and yet there’s already so much speculation about it.
By: spiffymcpantsman on July 10, 2011
at 5:34 pm
this is clearly wrong now!
By: unknown on August 8, 2011
at 12:21 pm
this was clearly wrong *then*. that was the joke.
By: spiffymcpantsman on August 8, 2011
at 2:36 pm
thisd is sad. i do hope that all of you know that the screen shots that are showen here are from the mmo wizard101. you people need to get a life
By: A. Washington on August 10, 2011
at 4:55 am
The screenshots are from world of warcraft. as well as all of the “information” about the game. I don’t know how the joke could have been more obvious.
By: spiffymcpantsman on August 10, 2011
at 12:41 pm