Response To Yesterday’s Post

In between yesterday and today, I have actually seen the wedding episode. I haven’t caught up any further than that, but I felt I should respond to what I wrote yesterday in light of having actually seen the episode people have been watching six seasons of The Office for.

Well, I know semi-reviewing a three week old episode is kind of silly, so I’ll be brief. It was better than I thought it would be. It was actually pretty funny and hardly boring at all, even if it wasn’t quite as funny as the show might have made it in its prime. And even if they stole the whole “let’s have a different wedding by ourselves away from how terrible this wedding everybody thinks will be the real one is going” from How I Met Your Mother two years ago.

That’s about all I feel like writing about. I’m sure you’ve seen it by now. I’m a college student now. I don’t have time for this!

So… I guess that’s it? How have you been?

Even Further From World’s Best Boss

I’ve watched the American version of The Office from day one, and watched it religiously. I saw every episode from that initial, “oh ho ho, Jim put Dwight’s stapler in Jello, but he’s in love with an engaged woman, oh dearie me!” pilot episode, to the “Jim kissed Pam!” second season finale, to the “Jim and Pam are finally going to go out!” third season finale, to the “Jim and Pam actually are going out!” fourth season premiere, to the “Jim proposed to Pam!” fifth season premiere, to the “Pam’s pregnant!” fifth season finale.

I still haven’t seen the wedding episode.

It’s ironic that I’ve followed the show, admittedly mostly because of these two characters, for so long, only to stop watching it right at the episode the show’s audience has literally waited six years for. But wait!, you might be thinking, I actually read your blog quite a bit and now that you’re in college now! You don’t always have time to rejoice in the merriment that is a television programme! And to that, dear figurative devoted reader, I respond with true, but the thing aired weeks ago. I’m sure I had time somewhere between now and then to catch up to this moment so eagerly and patiently waited for. There’s just not as much reason to. The fact of the matter is, like I said around the end of the last season, the show has been showing its age, and it’s only getting older.

The season premiere was funnier than I expected, even if it did absolutely nothing to significantly develop the story. While each episode after that did the opposite and worked on very significant changes to the story, and made the show less and less funny. Jim and Michael both being manager didn’t make things any more entertaining, and on the contrary made them worse. Like I’ve also said, every season of The Office, Jim’s character becomes less and less likable. As one of the office’s new bosses, Jim is just as much of a moron as Michael, except he’s even more awkward to watch.

Granted, I’ll still catch up on the show eventually, but it’s hard to feel like doing this with the show’s long decline into boredom. I honestly don’t know how much longer the show can last. The initial premise the show began with obviously had to change. I mean, six seasons of Jim being in love with Pam who’s engaged to Roy while they pull hijinks of all various manners on Dwight while Michael makes life a living hell for everyone who isn’t the viewer wouldn’t have been any better. But those two seasons were far and away the show’s best years. I’ll even say that the third season was wonderful too, and was a good example of how the show could evolve and age well. Right now, however, it’s not aging well. It’s just getting boring.

Bad Karma

As far as modern internet-standards go, it’s fairly old news by now, but My Name is Earl has been canceled. It’s kind of a shame, since even though the series has recently gone through a not-particularly-funny streak over the past season or so, it was frequently one of the funniest shows on TV. But even though the show’s started losing its touch, the fact that NBC canceled Earl, but picked up Parks and Recreation is horrendous. I’ve been fairly blunt with how boring I thought Parks’s pilot was, and from what I’ve heard it certainly hasn’t gotten any better. I’ve also heard it not only compared to Joey, but described as “worse than” Joey, which should be the death knell, but NBC obviously doesn’t want to admit the show’s that bad after over-hyping it so thoroughly, and it looks like Earl will pay the price. There’s still potential that ABC or TBS might pick up the show (FOX has already dropped out despite what are assuredly everyone’s best efforts), but it’s definitely looking like we’ll never find out the results of the whole “who’s whose dad?” mishmash from the last season (now series?) finale. I’ve always kind of paired Earl and The Office together in my mind, since they both started at more or less the same time and then moved from Tuesday to Thursday together, and I actually thought it was often funnier that The Office, which tends to go through dry spells that can start or end mid-episode, of all things, and Parks and Recreation certainly doesn’t put up that much of a challenge. Still, with Earl gone, I wonder how much life is left in The Office now, which has been feeling pretty tired for a while now and with the Jim and Pam baby on the way, the show’s dynamic could change in a rather detrimental direction. I mean, I wouldn’t really want to watch Jim and Pam juggle baby antics from both Michael and, well, their baby. How much longer can that show go on?

Speaking of shows that certainly can’t go on much longer, they actually renewed the Zach Braff-less Scrubs. Technically. Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke have signed on to guest star in six episodes to help the show transition to its new format, which will still have Donald Faison, John C. McGinley and Neil Flynn, as second position regulars. So… what’s the show even going to be about? Season 8’s stock character interns with infrequent interaction with Turk, Dr. Cox, and the Janitor? How can this show be any good? I mean, the show was described as “half as long as ER and twice as funny”, but I thought they meant that each episode was half as long, not the series’ 80 kajillion year run, which was all but dismissed for years as past its prime. I hate to say it, but I’m really hoping to see this fail early on, before it gets too drawn out and tarnishes the show’s legacy like what happened to ER.

And… that’s about it. I might write a review of the How I Met Your Mother season finale, but it might take a while, since I’m only on epsiode ten. Of the first season.

Good For Now?

I finally saw the LOST season finale yesterday, and my mind’s far too blown to properly write about it, so I’m gonna take a look at The Office and 30 Rock first. Basically, both finales were pretty good and funny enough, but weren’t really anything particularly special that needed to be reserved for a season finale.

The Office especially has a history of excellent season finales both hilarious and with exceptional storylines that really affect the plot, and while the episode itself was pretty funny, it certainly didn’t live up to the glory of Casino Night or The Job, although the big twist (Spoiler: Pam’s pregnant!) was well-done (shot and acted brilliantly) and even better than last year’s. The bits with Michael and Holly were bittersweet, since the two really belong together, but Holly’s pretty serious with that other guy what’s-his-name. It’s interesting, because if the show does this right, those two are actually becoming the new Jim and Pam, both of which are finally doing better, but, really, how much longer can they stay in Scranton?

30 Rock, overall this season, has been stronger and more consistent than The Office, but its season finale felt a little weaker, as well as in comparison to other episodes this season. The show didn’t seem to end with as much of a hook as last year’s did, with only a hint of a moral dilemma and crossroads for Liz, and unresolved kidney issues with Jack’s real dad (although the musical bit was funny. And serious.)

And I really don’t have much time to write more, but basically just watch those shows! Although I kind of wonder how much longer they’ll be on the air.

Two Bangs Forward, One Bang Back (No Bangs Towards a Decent Title For This. Ever.)

(The Big Bang Theory season finale spoilers are here. ZOMG!)

Somewhat inexplicably, I’m a huge fan of The Big Bang Theory. It’s that rare breed of show that features stock characters who experience little development, episodes that largely stand-alone independent of a very loose, very tired overarching plot, and a delicate balance between extreme hits and misses that I absolutely love. I expressed similar complaints for last year’s season finale, and although I feel like the show has actually been better this year and made some much-needed developments in order to demand any sort of longevity, tonight’s season finale didn’t have much to show for it.

This is because, for the most part, very little happened in this episode. It was basically a lengthy introduction to the gap between this and next season and provided fora very, very small push in the whole, neverending will-they-won’t-they that is Leonard and Penny, the aforementioned minmal overarching plot that keeps the series from turning into Seinfeld, but with lots more science. I thought this second season did a much better job of striking that balance between keeping their potential relationship alive by quickly killing it off, subtly keeping it in the background, and occasionally seeing something surface until it reached an erupting point, like when the two almost, to use an exceptionally scientific term in the nature of the show, got down and dirty after drinking away their miseries together, then adding some new tension, and then this episode, whereas last year it was always kind of a continual, constant pining. So in that sense, I think the show has definitely improved, but tonight’s episode barely had anything going for it. The key plot point that was presumably written to keep people wondering over the summer was Penny’s near-confession from behind a closed door to show that Penny would miss Leonard over the next three months on his trip for the arctic, but, really, do you want me to go into just how flawed this logic is?

Yeah, you probably do. That’s kind of why you’re reading this blog.

First of all, the whole development was rather unnecessary after the last “reveal” when we learned Penny said Leonard’s name on her date with the comic book store guy (I’m coming out of three AP Exams, sorry I don’t remember his name), because it’s simply not very exciting after that event, but the main problem with the scene is the fact that it’s supposed to mean something at all. I mean, I think I’d be really bummed out if any of my friends were leaving for the North Pole for three months, not just that one friend specifically I’ve been secretly pining over after sort of going out with however many months ago. Why did it have to be such a secret?

So ranting about the romantic plot aside (ew cooties!), the rest of the episode simply wasn’t all that funny, especially for a season finale where you sort of expect the show to pull out all the stops, especially when said show has otherwise shown the improvement to do so.

So, I know none of that review was particularly funny, which may or may not be something you’ve come to expect from this blog, so if you’re disappointed, here’s a quick recap of this post done slightly more comedically: The season was better, the finale was meh, Leonard and Penny were better but were more meh now although not on the show because there they’ve been pretty blah except for that one episode were they almost blahed it all up right before Leonard said blah and Penny said BLAH but rather the dynamic between them, Sheldon’s crazy, and the North Pole is cold. Like my feelings about this finale. Bazingo.

Way Better Than Last Year’s Series Finale: My Take On The Scrubs Finale

Since I’m sure you’re all quite curious, AP testing is going well so far, but I’m not allowed to talk about anything specific. Ever. Let’s just say… I used a number two pencil. Fortunately, my schedule gave me a bit of a reprieve today, so I’m gonna blog about the Scrubs finale.

First things first, technically it might not be the series finale. It was Zach Braff’s last episode, so it should be the series finale, but ABC might be stupid and pull off the biggest jump the shark moment since Cousin Oliver, and the series might actually continue with, of all people, the interns introduced this season. Not only would that suck because they’re probably the least interesting characters ever written onto the show (oh, hey, we have boring cheery girl, boring unemotional girl, boring bitchy girl, and boring boring guy), but because last Wednesday’s finale was beautiful.

It didn’t really offer much in the way of closure, and JD’s sudden departure from Sacred Heart was, ironically, disheartening, since, like Turk stated, he always pictured the two eventually running the hospital together. But Scrubs has never been that kind of show. The “perfect” ending has been killed off time and time again, quite literally as the show has a history of refusing to pull any punches, never afraid to sacrifice the uplifting ending for a patient that didn’t make it, and the sitcom-perfect ending would have been laughably out of place for Scrubs, and actually was, when JD had a fantasy sequence about his departure being the “big sitcom ending” where he turns off the light and all the lights in the hospital shut down – along with the power, rushing in panic as Elliot screams that all the patients are going to die. You know, just in case anybody actually watched this show and still thought that kind of ending could exist for it.

Yet that doesn’t necessarily write off the hopes for the “perfect” ending, and as it turns out, Scrubs did end perfectly. The projector montage of a potential, ideal future for the characters onto the back of Turk’s goodbye sign, which is then abruptly taken down by a (not The) janitor was exactly what the show needed to provide its fitting ending. Even though the uplifting sequence was only in JD’s head and symbolically torn down, JD’s realization that that could be his future was, again, exactly the way Scrubs needed to go out. It was never about the perfect conclusion, but the realization that we could make it happen. Maybe the show hasn’t lived up to its peak in years, but the finale was hardly any indication, and a brilliant conclusion to a brilliant sitcom.

Not Particularly Recreational

I love downloading free stuff on iTunes. Pretty much anything they offer for a free download, I’ll take their offer. This is how I’ve seen a single episode of Aliens in America, which I never watched beforehand (or again, to be perfectly honest, although I enjoyed it), and how I have a bunch of random singles scattered across my library I’ve never listened to, but listened to the thirty second sample, thought it was good enough, downloaded, and never thought about again. So today I noticed one of the free downloads was the pilot episode of NBC’s new Thursday sitcom Parks and Recreation. I didn’t download it.

Based on the first episode, Parks and Recreation is pretty underwhelming. As the media has advertised to death, it’s from the producers of The Office, and it’s readily apparent. Basically Parks is The Office, but without interesting characters or conflicts. It replicates The Office’s mockumentary feel, but what it lacks that I feel makes The Office so powerful is the life behind the documentary, which unfortunately isn’t captured anywhere near as well in Parks. If The Office and Parks and Recreation are supposed to be documentaries, The Office is the kind of crazy, engaging stuff on The Discovery Channel, and Parks and Recreation is that dry bacteria documentary with dated synthesizers you had to watch in science in seventh grade. Granted, Amy Poehler does a great job with her character, but it feels like she isn’t given much to work with, neither from her character nor the plot. The supporting cast is largely forgetable, and just about all the characters can be classified as either users or people who don’t seem to mind that they’re getting screwed, which didn’t really interest me. The episode had its moments, some of it was funny, but it was barely half over when it started dragging and I was just waiting for it to be over. Much like this review I’m writing. There might be some room for improvement, but I honestly can’t see much.

And don’t think just because I compared it unfavorably to The Office means that one’s getting away scot-free! Man, has that show lost a ton of its charm, and I’m looking at whoever’s writing Jim’s lines (and subplots, by extension). Previously, Jim was by far the most likable character on the show, largely because of the whole “I’m in love with someone else’s fiance” thingmajig, but lately Jim’s been getting less and less so, and he just annoys me now. Jim’s character is dying for some personal growth, and with the new boss breathing down his neck and calling him out at his worst, the stakes are higher than ever for him, and he’s not rising to the challenge. Dwight’s mocking “Oh no, the new boss does not find Jim adorable!” pretty much summed it all up. Jim’s between a rock and a hard place again, except this time it’s his own damn fault and I couldn’t care less.

Anyway, 30 Rock’s been pretty awesome. I don’t hate everything.

My Name Is Spiffy And I Link To Youtube Videos To Get Out Of Actually Writing On My Blog

Real post this weekend. Please be distracted by this in the meantime.

Aforementioned Procrastinator’s Best/Worst of 2008: In All Its Properly Skewered and Debatably Relevant Glory

As much as I would like to do one of those predictable Top Ten things for 2008, I really don’t do enough to have a particularly meaningful one, nor would it really be of any significance, since I doubt your average Bartholomew would really care how I feel about the year’s best music, games, shows,  and whatnot.  (Note: not that there’s anything wrong with “average Joe” so much as “Joe” being overused as a name synonymous with the common man, and no, this isn’t a shot at “Joe six-pack” or anything else from the “Oh God are they over yet?” elections. I have a friend named Joe who I’d struggle define even remotely as “common.” I saw the man front-flip through the chains on either side of a swing. Um… back to my point?)

So instead I’m going to take a page from Zero Punctuation and make a filler-y Year in Review that’s basically all about my blog. I mean, you’re caring enough to read my blog, so I’m assuming that’s pretty much what you’re here for. So it’s only fitting that this blog’s version of a Best of is the Best of whatever happened on this thing I added to my hobbies some months ago. Revel in the nostalgia! So without further ado, the best and worst of The Procrastinator’s Rant in its first year, 2008. Excerpts from my favorite and least favorite posts, and some themes built around them.

Best Title: Japanese Scientists Invent Magic!

There was no other way I could explain this one, which I tried to do in the article, and halfway through writing it and realizing I could only sort of explain the science behind it, basically said “well, let’s just go link to youtube…” (A favorite method of mine… SHHH! TELL NO ONE!)

My favorite part of the report is that the team is already talking about using the technology for video games. That’s progress, right there. Seriously though, think about how cool this could be for a pet simulator or something… although if it’s anything like Nintendogs, it’ll probably just lead to everybody punching the air in front of them if the voice recognition still can’t figure out the difference between “sit” and “beg” and, actually, just about anything else… So maybe not a pet simulator then…

Worst Title: Nananananananana Nananananananana Batman!

I think I’ve figured out why nobody read my Dark Knight review…

Going into the theater, I had pretty high hopes, since I consider Batman Begins one of the best superhero (or really, really rich hero, as the case may be) movies ever made …

Honorable Mention – Most “Look At My Awesome Vocabulary, Guys!” Title: Trying to Avoid Saying Something Like “Lost is Getting Lost” or Some Similar Platitude

Clearly I’m moving up in the world of blogging… before I know it Terry O’Quinn will comment on this post with “Yeah, I know, man! Locke was in the coffin! How weird is that?!”

…And how weird is it when a show introduces a time-machine and it’s still old-hat?

Best “People Are Noticing My Blog!” Moment: Maldroid Sans Smoke and Mirrors – Not Bad!

Maldroid themselves commented on my review of their debut album? I’m invincible!…

Worst “People Are Noticing My Blog!” Moment: 123456 Pokemon!

…or… not… This doesn’t have to be my most viewed post by an embarrassingly large number… Please check out a post I actually wrote something in!

And as an added bonus, you can download the song for free from his website! Now you can listen to it on your iPod when you run around a lake in gym class. Like I totally haven’t done.

Honorable Mention – Most “I’m Probably Not Offering Much Incentive For People To Notice My Blog, Am I?” Moment: Excerpt From a Real Conversation I Had on Facebook

At the time, I thought it was… okay,  “funny” isn’t the right word in that context either…

…in the pilot episode of Macguyver, that “rocket thruster” thing was just stupid. He could have just jumped off the cliff and it would have accomplished the same thing.

Best Words of Wisdom: Ah, Irony

According to the stats page, someone found my blog today by searching for “How to tell if you’re a procrastinator.” Well, I don’t actually talk about procrastinating in my blog and it’s just part of the name, but I feel like helping out anyway:

If you’re taking the time to google “How to tell if you’re a procrastinator”, you’re a procrastinator.

Worst Words of Wisdom: Haiku 5

question. answer? no!

i need more karma practice.

is it cake time yet?

This is also a good candidate for worst haiku ever written ever, but in my defense that was the point.

Honorable Mention – Best Words of Wisdom About Words of Wisdom: Avatar: The Last Hurrah

And this is a complaint not just against Avatar but against television and movies in general, don’t use voice altering effects that make everything as unclear as Power Ranger’s Zordon! Really, when Aang asked for the lion turtle’s help and it answered, it could have recited the theme song to Fresh Prince and I wouldn’t have noticed, it was so unintelligible. It really kind of takes away from the effect when the dialogue basically sounds like:

“I need your help, lion turtle! I need to save the world by killing the Fire Lord, but I’ve been told not to kill people! What should I do?”

“BWAAAAAAA! GWAAAAAAAA! WA WA WA WAAAAAAAA! GLURRRRRRRRRGH!”

“Thanks, lion turtle!”

Stop doing that!

Best “In Which I Rip On Nintendo”: Nintendo’s New DSi’d-rather-not

This is probably the most scathing post I’ve ever written… although I still think it’s pretty funny.

Two years later, Nintendo releases the Game Boy Advance SP, which not only has a much more aesthetically appealing folding design, but comes with the long-rumored, never-seen (except on anything but a Nintendo product) backlit screen! With Nintendo embracing Thomas Edison’s scientific breakthrough a mere 220-ish years after its initial discovery, this was certainly an upgrade worth having, no? I mean, come on, it’s the future! Then another two years later, even though the DS was already on shelves released a year before, Nintendo released the Game Boy Micro, which was yet another redesign of the Game Boy Advance, except Holy iPod Generation, Batman! that thing was tiny! So forget the fact that there are three separate systems (four if you count the GBA player for the Gamecube) that can play these games, you can probably fit like five of these things in your back pocket!

Moving on past the GBA innovation, Nintendo released its next handheld, the dual-screen, touch-screen, Nintendo DS in 2004, a system so much more advanced it launched with a port of a seven year old Mario game! And Ping Pals! And then Nintendogs came out about a year later! Seriously, tons of potential right here!

But once again, Nintendo’s two-year cycles of ADD kick in and in 2006 they release the Nintendo DS lite, a redesign of the system with brighter screens, bigger styli, smaller size, fewer calories, and Atkins Diet approved! This was reportedly pretty awesome, because now you could play all those awesome DS games with a system that suddenly realized it was kinda sorta a little important to try to look pretty cool too.

Worst “In Which I Rip on Nintendo”: A Prelude to a Denouncement

Also in which I write an introduction to a post I never get around to caring to write. Let’s just… move on…

Honorable Mention – In Which I Seriously Drop the Ball on Ripping on Nintendo

Yeah, I never wrote a post about the Mother 3 translation patch. To sum it up, Mother 3, and the Earthbound/Mother series it’s part of, is Nintendo’s big “screw you” to the States. The patch was a “screw you” right back. The series is incredibly underrated, and some of the best games ever made. They’re funny, they’re moving, they’re simply beautiful, and Nintendo has ignored America’s pleas for a translation and release anywhere but in Japan. Despite the fact that basically everybody knows Ness because of Super Smash Bros. and they could very easily re-release Earthbound on the Virtual Console at little to no financial risk, they’ve refused to. In doing so, Nintendo hasn’t given America a chance to show revived interest in the series, so they didn’t translate Mother 3. So the fans did it themselves. Nyah!

Best Filler Post: Why I Don’t Play Minesweeper

I hate that game.

Also, one of the most hilarious comments I’ve ever gotten.

Worst Filler Post: Excerpt From a Real Conversation I Had on Facebook

Just ignore this…

Honorable Mention – Best “This Isn’t A Filler Post?” Post: Haiku 6

I like this one.

let’s go blow bubbles

like survivor’s guilt except

nothing has happened

Best Search That Led Someone to Procrastinator’s Rant: guitar hero character customization serj

Serj in Guitar Hero… that… that game would be glorious… Although I don’t think I actually talked about this..

Also, someone else searched for “I hate Word 2007″. I hear you, man…

Worst Search That Led Someone to Procrastinator’s Rant: starmen.net sucks

False!

Honorable Mention – Most WTF Search That Led Someone to Procrastinator’s Rant: spore creature sex

o.O

I know I never talked about that…

Best Post of 2008: My Wall-E Review

This is still my favorite post I’ve written. I stray from the topic a little, but that’s what makes this fun.

The mere fact that Madagascar is evidently good enough to warrant a sequel is a truly terrifying notion. Even more terrifying is that this means that as far as animated pictures go, it’s supposedly one of the best. Really now? Wasn’t that movie mostly a kid-friendly rave scene fueled by that “I Like to Move It” song for what had to be around 50 minutes, which must have led to an epidemic of people’s ears bleeding?

So, I think those are the highlights of 2008, in terms of this little area of the interblag. If you think I’ve missed anything, well, I’m flattered you like my blog so much! I look forward to entertaining everybody and hopefully doing a better job of it in 2009! Happy New Year!

Also, I totally thought it already was 2009. Imagine my surprise.

Mkay, I’m Officially Going on Hiatus Right Now

Yeah, simply put, I need to get things done and while it’s not that I would have kept blogging despite this so much as I’d rather announce a hiatus than simply not update without explanation for a few weeks.

So, two quick rants then.

One: Wow, when did ABC.com’s video player start sucking so much? I had an incredibly painful experience watching Boston Legal, and it wasn’t because the episode was disappointing, but because the streaming video was horribly out of sync with the audio, assuming either of them were actually, you know, streaming. Not to mention that this stupid “theater mode” gimmick doesn’t do anything except slow down the site so much the controls don’t even work, so you can’t pause the video to try to let it stream. It was frustrating, to say the least.

Two: This is creepy.

And my lit teacher showed it to us… o_O