Home » Video Games » Pokemon » Think All The New Pokemon Are Terrible? The Top Ten Stupidest Pokemon… From The Original Games

Think All The New Pokemon Are Terrible? The Top Ten Stupidest Pokemon… From The Original Games

I know that this week is supposed to be the every other week “Currently Playing” post about what video games I’ve been playing, but the problem is that this time around that post would be empty. I’m in college. I’ve been busy. So instead I did some thinking about a different post I could provide this week about something similar, and, not too unusually, I got to thinking about Pokemon again. The new fifth gen games Pokemon Black and White have been getting some really good responses. Lots of critics have said that it goes to great lengths to breathe new life into a tired series, and a few friends of mine who’ve bought it seem to agree. On the other hand, everybody seems to agree that the main problem with this new entry in the series is that the new Pokemon all suck.

Yes, that is a Pokemon shaped like an ice cream cone. The criticism that the new Pokemon are terrible is fair. While the series has always had a problem with creating new Pokemon as iconic and interesting as the original 150 Pokemon, this new generation is particularly bad. Or is it? Are our beloved Red/Blue companions really as superior as people think, or do they simply enjoy the benefit of having been first? Looking back, was that first batch of monsters really all that remarkable? For all the complaining people are doing about how stupid the new Black/White Pokemon look, here are ten of the originals that are just as bad.

10. Hitmonchan

When playing Pokemon Red or Blue, after defeating the Master of the Fighting Dojo you are given a choice between two fighting Pokemon: Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan. You could only pick one, and unless you traded from another game, you would never get the other one. Hitmonlee was a Pokemon with huge legs that kicked everything. Hitmonchan was a Pokemon with huge fists that punched everything. Most people picked Hitmonlee, and not because it was necessarily the better Pokemon. More so because Hitmonchan looked like this:

For a Fighting type Pokemon meant to strike fear into the hearts of its foes, it certainly has a pretty dress. Apparently the clothing is supposed to be a tunic. Right. That’s not a tunic. This is a tunic:

That is Link, the hero of The Legend of Zelda series. Note how his clothing is basically the same sort of shape as Hitmonchan’s yet looks entirely more badass and not at all girly, and it has nothing to do with the sword and such. Link’s tunic does not have a frilly lower half. Hitmonchan looks like it’s wearing a skirt. And who goes boxing in a skirt?

So before you go making fun of the new Black/White Pokemon Throh and Sawk for being stupid looking because they’re anthropomorphic rocks wearing karate uniforms, remember that at least they’re wearing something you’re supposed to fight in. Hitmonchan was wearing a fucking dress.

9. Bellsprout

Think that Snivy/Smugleaf looks lame and weedy? Remember what this thing looked like? And no, not the illustrations or the anime. Remember what the original Bellsprout sprite looked like?

That thing is horrifying! Not like “don’t go into the cornfield, the murderer’s in the cornfield” horrifying, but “oh my God, what happened to this poor creature?” horrifying. This thing looks downright depressing! I’d give it a hug if I wasn’t terrified I’d catch some sort of illness. It looks pathetic. So, sure, Black/White‘s Serperior is a creepy looking snake thing with a head that looks completely out of place, Bellsprout looked absolutely pathetic.

8. Electrode

Voltorb looks exactly like a Pokeball. You could argue that this is a pretty weak and lazy design choice, but I’m going to argue against that. It’s kind of neat to have the two thing that look the same because it sort of fleshes out the world the game takes place in. The implication that Pokeballs were modeled after a certain Pokemon, Voltorb, gives the world a little more history and character. So Voltorb is a-okay in my book, aside from how it kind of it sucks, but that’s not my argument here. What I’m arguing is that Voltorb isn’t the stupid one. Electrode is.

Electrode is Voltorb’s evolution. Or, for all we know, an upside-down Voltorb.

Even for fake Pokemon world science, this one is weak. But not as weak as…

7-6. Dugtrio / Magneton

These two are the same, stupid idea. Now, don’t get me wrong, Dugtrio was one of my favorite first generation Pokemon, and after the steel type was added, Megneton was also one of my favorites, but that doesn’t change the fact that for these Pokemon “evolution” just means “hang out all the time with two creatures that look exactly like you, but now you all have angry eyebrows.”


So, sure, we can make fun of Vanillish, a Pokemon that looks like a single scoop ice cream cone, for evolving into Vanilluxe, a Pokemon that looks like a double scoop ice cream cone, but at least its two heads are coming out of one body, indicating some sort of change. Dugtrio and Magneton are three of the same Pokemon it used to be, but in formation.

This is a huge design cop-out for what are generally considered the “classic” Pokemon. Can you imagine if all new Pokemon were made with the “more of them but with angry eyes”  method?

So before you go around saying that they ran out of ideas for new Pokemon in the later games, just remember they clearly ran out of ideas in the first one.

5. Machoke

We’re now going to move our focus away from Pokemon that are stupid because the game designers got lazy and passed off nearly identical Pokemon as different Pokemon, because, honestly, if it weren’t for the cop-out evolution, those last three entries on the list wouldn’t be so bad. The Pokemon don’t look stupid; on the contrary, they actually look pretty cool. Magneton isn’t stupid because it looks stupid, it’s stupid because it’s just three Magnemite stuck together.

Then we have this idiot.

This thing is stupid for entirely different reasons. The Pokedex listing from the original games describes it as a “superpower” Pokemon, and basically every entry across the series describe how it loves to spend all its time bodybuilding, and, presumably, tanning and doing laundry.

Machoke is better suited to be on the cast of Jersey Shore than it is to be a Pokemon. It’s nothing but a blue bodybuilder in a speedo, and, amazingly, it actually gets worse. Machoke is the second evolution in between Machop and Machamp, shown here:

Machop is actually pretty cute looking, and Machamp looks pretty badass with four arms. Both are totally legit Pokemon. Machoke is like their ugly cousin. Most Pokemon in between their first and final evolution tend to look pretty awkward, but Machoke takes it to a whole other level. It doesn’t even look like a Pokemon. It looks like a person with a really ugly face that’s like 40% snout. But, still, it’s not the final evolution, so no problem, right? Just evolve it as soon as you possibly can. Unfortunately, the only way to evolve a Machoke into a Machamp is if you trade it with another game, so you have to find a friend and trade with them to stop having to look at that ugly thing, and sometimes other people who play Pokemon are hard to come by. Especially in, say, high school. Although, strangely, it’s much easier in college. Go figure?

So, sure, make fun of Litwick, Lampent, and Chandelure for being a Pokemon that looks like a candle that evolves into a gas lamp that evolves into a chandelier, but at least you wouldn’t see any of them on Jersey Shore.

4-2. Grimer / Muk / Ditto

So far in this article I’ve mentioned new Black/White Pokemon that are ice cream cones and candles. There are even new Pokemon that are nothing but mechanical gears, adding a new gear each time it evolves. Lots of people are citing these new Pokemon, among others, as a sign that the Pokemon series is running increasingly out of ideas. Are these Pokemon pretty stupid sounding? Sure. But you know, what? At least they’re based on things. At least the Pokemon series hasn’t gotten so bad that they’re making a bunch of Pokemon that are nothing but amorphous blobs.

That’s right. Three of those beloved 150 original Pokemon were amorphous blobs. Sure, you can argue that Grimer and Muk are supposed to be slime Pokemon and Ditto’s an amorphous blob because it’s specialty is that it copies the appearance of other Pokemon, but that argument almost makes it worse. They were so desperate for ideas in the first generation that they based Pokemon on slime? They couldn’t think of one more Pokemon and made one that just turns into all the other ones they already made? Admittedly, Ditto is pretty cool, if not somewhat useless, but seriously? Three amorphous blob Pokemon? Think about that next time you make fun of the new garbage bag Pokemon. At least it’s a thing!

1. Cloyster

I don’t even need to make this joke, right?

121 thoughts on “Think All The New Pokemon Are Terrible? The Top Ten Stupidest Pokemon… From The Original Games

  1. What the fuck is wrong with you? of course in the first gen pokemon wont be perfect. they were just starting out. maybe once you arent being a idiot you will understand

    • Gen 1 fags. Dude If you played pokemon gen 1 when you’re a kid, you’re probably an adult now. An adult that’s MAD at a GAME made for KIDS!!! Also, the kids at these times are different from the retarded one before

      • If you mean they are 100x more retarded, then I absolutely agree with you. I’ve had the unfortunate priviledge of having to sit in classrooms to watch substitute teachers, and the latest generation of children (all the way up to high school level) are highly disconcerting. Unintelligent, no attention span, self absorbed, drunk/high in class, etc…
        I agree that most of the Gen 5 pokemon look and sound abysmal… I’ve thought that about at least half of every generation. To me it seems like it’d be so easy; take every animal that exists on Earth, and you could make 6+ pokemon for each animal (for fire/water/dark/etc…). That would give the creators a jumping off point for literally millions of legitimate sounding pokemon, so they wouldn’t have to resort to food or furniture.

    • yea i agree…its sucked alot…ice cream can be a pokemon…..dude at least anime though…of all thing y things like ice cream and all sort…
      the old one is an OK while the new 1 is suck…really look at it…ICE CREAM?

  2. Eh I don’t see what your problem is with machoke. It’s a bodybuilder pokemon and it looks like one, same as Machamp. Tho unlike Machamp it’s mouth doesn’t look like that of a duck, and it has the neat stripes on it’s arms.

    And Dugtrio/Magneton are examples of weaker pokemon bonding together in a symbiotic relationship to increase their power, similar to Slowpoke/Slowbro.

    • I really don’t think he/she has a problem with Dugtrio or Magneton. He/she already stated that he/she loves it. However, people criticise the new Vanllite line because of the forming thing so he/she’s just trying to remind them that it’s not like that’s happened the first time round. I guess the problem with Machoke is that it looks so much like a human that you’d probably feel bad when you send one out for battle if Pokemon was real life.

  3. Are you fucking serious who the hell wrote this stupid piece of shit. So you’re telling me that all the new pokemon are way better than these. i love how you make fun of diglet and dugtrio because there just the same “stupid” idea and that that electrode is an upside down voltorb. ok look at serperior he looks like he’s fucking wearing count dracula’s cape. Emboar looks like an satanic pig. Nope there’s more watchhog, stoutland, simisaga, zebstrika, woobat and swoobat and fucking garbodor etc. OH!!! Krookodile oh how fucking creative. yeah you’re right these are stupid…LMAO your so fucking gay. please i love for you to have a legit combat on why the new gens are way more creative and better than the old ones.

  4. Ok everyone in here just needs to calm their vaginas down and pull their panties up.. 1.We’re talking about POKEMON. 2.It’s supposed to be a joke. 3.He’s saying the new ones SUCK, but some of the original ones are just as bad… Don’t HATE on this guys work.. If you want then write up a different piece with your own opinions and post it online for other people.

    • all pokemons are great, but every one of the geenrations has its own set of failed pokemons.

      (just my opinion)
      GEN1 – the ones in this post, exeggcute, rattata.
      GEN 2 – smochum, stanler, phanpy, etc.
      GEN 3 – silcoon/cascoon, feebas, numel, iluminse, volbeat, luvdisc, etc.
      GEN 4 – bidoof, bibarel, purugly, burmy, wormadan, shellos, etc.
      GEN 5 – the 3 ice cones, pidove, the garbage bags,etc.

  5. Lol. All these comments are pretty fucking hilarious to read. You people take your pokemon pretty damn serious xD

    But yeah… LIke the guy above me said… It’s obviously a joke… You should all stop being so quick to write your little nerd essays and actually use your head first… Maybe we wouldn’t live in such a hate-filled world if people actually took the time to understand instead of instantly bashing on everything they read or hear just for the needless sake of it. Just a thought…

    Good stuff tho… I honestly got a few laughs out of it. :thumbsup:

  6. you guys are fucking gay. grow up. if you have a laptop or some computer then you should have grown up from pokemon.

    but im i kid so its ok for me to like it but not for 48 year old men to watch there childhood show every day before breakfast. thats like your grandpa watching barney.GROW THE FUCK UP YOU NERDS!

      • I am actually still a kid, too, and even tho my first game was Diamond, I definitely have a bunch of problems with the new Pokemon. Seriously! I actually never have really played the older games, but the tv show was FRICKIN AMAZING! and the pokemon were so much awesomer.
        And hey! I still have time to grow up, so buzz off! I love Pokemon like the other people here, and I have for about 8 or so years!


        im a girl

    • Kid are you being for real right now? Pokemon was released in ’98 I was 4. Do the math, no one who is forty fucking eight would be playing or watching pokemon? Try 20, 23 , 26. And there isn’t one damn thing wrong with that! Doesn’t mean we aren’t adults, or we aren’t “grown” , it means we know how to have fun. And still enjoy the little things in life like the joy of finding a kick as pokemon. So take a lesson from a “fucking gay grandma nerd” people are allowed to do what they want, like what they like and live how they want. Be more compassionate to other people you little puke.

    • Sorry mate, but when he made the cloyster joke, I don’t think he was making fun of the fact that it looked like a ghastly in a spiny shell. Were you being serious there, or just kidding?

  7. I can’t believe they didn’t make a dolphin or panda pokemon. Oh, and please don’t hate on each other about pokemon…they cound of made a kiwi (the bird), a jaguiar (sorry about my spelling), a cow, maby even something like a T-rex if they had literually no ideas let.:) and theres nothing wrong with being an adult and liking pokemon. I mean I’m a kid (14yrs) but my dad plays pokemon. He’s not a ‘loser’ though, he is actually in a VERY high position in a computer company in chicago! sorry this is long and don’t hate on me if you find any of this afending.

  8. i just want to help you understand [if you didn’t already] the evolutions of Diglet/Dugtrio & Magnemite/Magneton from an evolutionary standpoint; no harm intended, & no raging here.

    in nature, organisms can evolve [as Cal mentioned above] symbiotically in groups. modern corals are examples of this; groups of similar looking organisms that have evolved to form groups to co-exist & benefit from sticking together. another example of this is the medusa type creature we know of as the “man o’ war”. it is not a single animal, but a grouping of individualized cells & organisms working together in a small ecosystem together. Cal’s Slowpoke/Slowbro example also has biological/evolutionary truth to it, as the land plants known as angiosperms have taken on this type of symbiotic relationship with insects.

    the Cloyster comment made me grin; it was funny.:)

    the Voltorb/Electrode evolution is also a supported phenomenon in nature; as im sure you may be aware [being a college student] of the moths in England changing from white to black & black to white depending on their environmental advantage. the colour designs helped shield them from predators, even if it was between only two colours. Voltorb/Electrode can be a loose example of this, though i think the main reason for the flipping of the ball/colours was to trick prey into thinking Voltorb was asleep or dead, so that Electrode could get the jump on them; like a trap [Anglerfish type trick]. i know its not a very good animation/drawing change, but that ties into my overall point.

    Hitmochan’s outfit is girly, no doubt. though, i feel you missed the two worst designed Pokemon of the first generations; Jynx & Mr.Mime.. the two Pokemon that are nothing more than, well, people.. haha now, before anybody gets jumpy over me saying that about the beloved first generation’ers, i would also like to defend them in a way. i think they may have been a way for the Pokemon designer to introduce acceptance of gays into the game. how? well, Mr.Mime is consistently seen in more female roles [in the eyes of the nuclear family ideology], while Jynx is consistently seen in more male roles [in the eyes of the nuclear family ideology]. they may have been awkward designs, but they might have served a real purpose.

    Bellsprout’s evolution makes a lot of sense biologically speaking. land plant originally were weak things that could not transfer water easily & so they have weak, flimsy structures, & clung closely to water because they lack such vascular systems. once they evolved vascular systems & could transfer water/nutrients, they now had a rigid framework & could stand taller, branch out farther, & grow bulkier [as Weepinbell does]. finally, the last stage of plant evolution was the symbiotic relationship with insects, shown brilliantly through Victreebell; a plant designed to capture insects like a venus-fly-trap.

    Machoke is an example of stage progression in my eyes [the Guido reference made me laugh though]. in order to go from wimpy [Machop] to body-builder ripped [Machamp], there needs to be a change in mentality [Machoke] to diet, work out, not goof off, etc. i think this design, though bland, was more based on principles than looks [even though Machoke looks about a million time better than any of the new Pokemon IMHO].

    finally, as for the Grimer/Muk/Ditto concept; i think that the idea was two things. one? existence of life in horrifyingly toxic zones like undersea Sulfur vents, volcanic zones high in activity, etc. the fact that life can exist there is an important concept to teach kids to open their minds. two? human pollution causing changes in our environment; pollution creating monsters [or is the monster?] that we need to make our kids aware of & try to prevent through advances in science/technology. as for Ditto? maybe some idea along the lines of getting back in touch with nature? after all, Ditto does nothing but resemble Pokemon [the animals of that world].

    basically, i’m saying that the originals showed logical, biological, & evolutionary science through their evolutions & background, as well as introducing ideas/concepts & possible acceptance/morals for the kids. the creatures had good to awesome designs, & in my opinion are leagues beyond that of the new generations. that being said, i thought your post was clever & funny. anyone who actually gets worked up over this is sad & needs a job.😛

    good day, sir!

    • wow, you wrote a bit of a novel here! yeah, I do study biology in college (and english but we’ll ignore that for the time being), and while I did like a lot of your observations and applications of real world evolutionary science, we do have to keep in mind that evolution in Pokemon is not the same thing as evolution in the real world. Since real evolution is a constantly adaptive, branching process and Pokemon evolution is more like, say, puberty, it’s definitely a loose fit at best. It’s pretty impossible to say that anything about Pokemon does anything to introduce real scientific concepts to kids. Instead, real science can only be applied *to* Pokemon, and only in a rather fragmentary way, and only by people like us who know enough about science to overthink Pokemon or take the piss out of it =)

      But again, I really liked a lot of your observations, especially the electrode and bellsprout ones. and I don’t know why I didn’t think of Mr Mime. That thing creeps the fuck out of me.

  9. Are you shitting me? This guy is right and even if this is a joke. People hate Pokemon Black and White because of the designs. The 1st gen designers helped and they ranted and critized like.. About their looks instead. Looks don’t even fucking matter. Those who hate the looks, ever learned the saying, “Looks don’t matter” or “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”? I bet these morons don’t, 1st gen fags are fans of the 1st gen if they like it for the designs not Pokemon. And let their nostalgia take over them. It’s about time if someone read this comment and figure out it’s really a 11 year old girl writing this for real. Seriously, looks are the thing about, ‘who gave a shit’ until 4th gen came. All the fans said, “4th gen sucks, nothing to do durr hurr.” and stuck with 1st gen. It’s a galore of 1st gen lovers. Nobody ranted about magentons and muk, cloyster, electrobe until this joke rant came out. I was surprised how this was kind of right. Those who never judged a mon’ by it’s cover, please replay, the same for those who did. Written by Radio of Pokemon Online and thanks. I’ll be checking the comments everyday for the replys. And Nintendo doesn’t give a shit about those who judge a pokemon by it’s cover fanboys anyways. <- P.S. P.S.S.:The Black and White pokes are really damn good, get used to them like everyone did off the internet and beyond.

    • The “don’t judge a book by its cover” thing was pretty much my point exactly, though you did get a bit angrier about it😄

      I haven’t played Black/White yet, but I’ve heard really good things, except about the Pokemon designs. At the same time, Red/Blue are really only enjoyable for the nostalgia. It’s amazing how unbalanced that game is. Personally, I’d say the second gen was my favorite. Best combination of nostalgia and gameplay, in my opinion.

  10. Wow really nice article I had a lot of laughs, and as mentioned before mr. Mime jynx and a few others
    Zubat golbat

    Onix being a pile of rocks

    A seal named seel

    And btw if u look like all the 5th gen pokemon most of them aren’t based on animals and the bug types in 5th gen are WAAAAYy better than the ones than in first gen 1st gen wasnt bad 5th gen was just better if u arent blind by nostalgia

    • Totally agree. Although I’ve never played the gen 1 games when I was younger, I certainly watched the anime and I loved a lot of them but in all honesty, some of them really do pale in comparison to the newer generations pokemon. Every generation of pokemon is SUPPOSED to have badly designed pokemon. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense to say one pokemon looks better than the other because they all look good.

  11. That was some funny reading. You lot need to all lighten up a Lidl.
    Yeah, they have been some trash pokemon through the gens. Including one that actually is trash. And to be honest, they could have been a lot more original and creative and blah blah blah… But hey. If it bothered you that much, if it really mattered what they look like- Ya’ll wouldn’t still play and it wouldn’t vex you, huh?
    Personally- I don’t have any of the listed in my team. And when I encounter them it puts a smile on my face cause it is just so ridiculous a grown man finds it acceptable to take home 30,000£ a year or whatever to create these junk sprites. But he does. Cheeky bugger, good luck to him/her(hi5 for not being sexist)/them!

    Milotic(<3) looks like an eel. I've seen an Eel for real. It didn't strike me as particularly beautiful… Yet it's my Favorite by a country mile.
    Cloyster loves tail and a Slow Poke.
    Ha ha ha. Get over it guys. as a wise man once said
    whhhhhhhyyyyy soooo serious?!?

    Pokemon eterno .

    PS You've all overlooked Maggyo. The new Dunsparce. Infact, you prolly didn't over-look shhhhh- you probably forgot all about them. Because they're wasterssss!
    On the contray.
    I caught a shiny Maggyo and thus, am possibly the only trainer in the UNIVERSE who has it in my team. It is seriously pathetic. It is my HM whore and I love it. And when I see Satoshi or whoever I'm going to have words cause all 5 of my shinys are fffffffffffff water type!
    But then i'm going to thank him for making possibly the best series of games ever. Period.

    [not sure if that's the correct use of that word but in the UK; ignorance is bliss. ^^ ANd it's a funny word. My sense of humour approves]

    PSS: …..Is anyone still reading? Hahaa. Fml.
    Frankie— I don't think his joke was that Cloyster looks like Clampearl & the other one you said fused together…:-)

    Pokemon eterno .

  12. I came here looking for a good insight on the terrible new Pokemon in Black & White but ended up having a revelation about how shitty some of the generation 1 Pokemon were.

    I don’t think that the first lot of Pokemon are wholely superior, but being there first certainly excuses any awful designs they might have.

    Great article anyway, thoroughly enjoyed it.

  13. I agree with you. But you forgot Jynx, dafuq is that? A black ice woman?
    The new pokemon are just as awesome as the new ones. And if they suck so much, why isn’t the internet full of pokemon that are twice as awesome. The most awesome fakemons don’t look better than the 5th gen.

  14. All I got to say is that the Pokemon introduced in Pokemon black and white were kind of lame .about 90% of them sucked and just looked retarded .the 2 generation was one of the best and after that all the way to Pokemon diamond . I grew up watching Pokemon so its sad to see these new ones just sucks .

    • The new ones just have too much going on. The first gen was basic enough to relate the designs back to the “real world.” Now they are designed way to elaborate and just look so fake. Like the legendary Pokemon look more like robots than “animals.” First gen and second gen were my favorites just because you coult almost imagine them being in the natural world.

      • I lol’d. The legendary pokemon look more like robots than animals? And the Voltorb and Magnemite lines are perfectly natural looking?

        Nothing has changed except that they are now less bland looking.

        Gen V has Klink. Gen 1 had Magnemite.
        Gen V has Sawk and Throh. Gen 1 had Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee.
        Gen V has Jellicent. Gen 1 had Jynx.

        There have always been really retarded pokemon. Gen V is actually a little superior — compare the legendaries. Can you really say that Zapdos looks more badass than Zekrom?

  15. Not sure if this is correct but I heard somewhere that ditto was meant to be a failed attempt at cloning a mew.

  16. U are always gonna get good pokemon and bad pokemon based on design. I think he has made fair points on some of the pokemon from gen 1 as some of their designs are bout of stupid of some of the ones from gen 5. There might be a ice cream pokemon but at least its more imaginative than some sludge evolving to become a bigger piece of sludge (grimer to muk)

  17. I think that the entire concept of creating Pokemon is not simply that they’ve run out of things to make. As long as there are animals and inanimate objects and even mere concepts such as the weather, new Pokemon will be brought forth. I propose that the reason we all think the Pokemon of the newest generations are lame is because we did not grow up with them. You notice that children still buy Pokemon games, no matter what generation it happens to be. That is because they are children. Back when I played Pokemon Yellow as a wee lad, I loved it not because of the graphics or the music, but because it was a game where I cared and nurtured for something that grew in accordance with how much effort I put into the game. We all love the things we grew up with. Though not old by anyone’s standards, I still have a soft spot for Pokemon, building forts outside, and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the peanut butter side always facing up. We love what we enjoyed as children.

  18. Look alright, most people that hate Gen V are now too old for pokemon really, they only like Gen I/II because of nostalgia.
    Personally, even though I’m 12 I’ve been playing pokemon since crystal came out.( I started with yellow and crystal, later getting ruby/emerald)

  19. i really enjoyed this article, but the people in the comments who just hate all of the new pokemon are complete bigots.
    have you even seen chandelure? it looks deceivingly friendly. or gigalith? gigalith looks like it could rip you limb from limb. and cofagrigus is the scariest mofo i have ever seen! can any of you honestly say that swadloon doesn’t have the perfect facial expression? and try telling me that zebstrika isnt a total BAMF. Swoobat looks more like an actual irl bat than golbat, and pidove looks more like an actual irl pidgeon than pidgey.
    every generation has its flaws, but it would be crazy to think that each pokemon could please everyone. even in the pokemon world, trainers favor certain pokemon over others. do any of you realize how hard it would be to design over 600 pokemon that MILLIONS of people all of the world will adore unconditionally? that’s simply unreasonable.
    its okay to love the generation of pokemon that started you off, but you can’t shut down anyone who favorites a different generation. personally, every time i see pokemon from generation 3, i’m filled with feelings of nostalgia. it brings me back to all of my good childhood memories, and that’s a postive thing. i wouldn’t write off any of the other generations for not being designed to fit in with the pokemon i remember so fondly, you aren’t supposed to.
    remember this quote?
    “(looks up at the moon) You’re right. We do have a lot in common. The same Earth, the same air, the same sky. Maybe if we started looking at what’s the same instead of always looking at what’s different, well who knows?”
    meowth said that in ‘Mewtwo Strikes Back.’
    think about that, the pokemon that may seem poorly designed are still pokemon. they learn new moves when they level up, you catch them in pokeballs, they fight in battle for you.
    if every pokemon was designed in the same style as generation one, everyone would get bored. the creators aren’t running out of ideas, i could list hundreds of living and nonliving things that could be made into new pokemon. if they really ran out of ideas, we wouldn’t have had 156 new pokemon. generation 2 only introduced 100 pokemon, i’d say they were pretty low on ideas there, but when you think about it, creating 100 new creatures is still a challenge.
    if anyone wants to talk smack about the new pokemon designs, they should do so without using words like “suck,” “fag,” “dick,” “lame” or “retarded.” it makes you sound ig’nant

    -peace out bitches

  20. I grew up with the first generation so I love it. Some of the designs were basic and a few may seem dumb but that was their first try and it was so long ago. It’s 2012 so they should be a lot better but they are not. These Pokemon on the list may seem dumb but an ice cream cone? Come on that’s pure stupidity. Like someone else said you can imagine actually seeing 1st gen Pokemon. I will never be Able to picture my desert fighting me. I don’t see what is wrong with magnemine. He looks cool at least. Isn’t there a 5th gen Pokemon that is a gear or cog or whatever that evolves into a bigger gear that evolves into an even bigger gear. Also they based many pokemon off 1st gen. Taurus with an Afro? (buffalon) many are not even original. Remember the original motto of Pokemon. Gotta catch em all. You can’t even do that now. 649 Pokemon there’s no way. I remember trying to get all 151 and that was hard but I wanted to be the best Pokemon trainer. Now they can’t catch them all. They should have stopped a long time ago. As for the legendaries mewtwo is the biggest badass. Mew is the cutest. And the legendary birds are great each with a different type. These new ones are too complicated. I don’t know what they are. They look like big monsters dinosaur dragon things. They are just weird. Most kids probably don’t even know many gen 1 Pokemon that’s why they prefer gen 5

    • You’re an idiot and such an elitist. I know what Gen 1 is and I STILL prefer Gen 3, and I’m 19. Also, none of them got anything over Rayquaza, and Rotom from Gen 4 in lawnmower mode would smash that argument flat, so nice try genwunner.


    I feel like I should say more now. This is like when someone trolls a group of Bronies.

    Pokemon are dumb looking and it’s funny. It’s funny when people make jokes, and put classic boxing personas in a photoshopped skirt, whatever the reason. Half of the humor here is writing about pokemon. Responding by being serious about pokemon is an amazing response and I am glad you all have contributed to how funny this is. Then rageflaming at people for being serious about pokemon, that’s meta right there, it’s like there’s some Dada shit going down.

  22. I believe the term for the 5th generation is unique. IF YOU LOOK UP ON BULPHELIA AND TYPE IN THE POKEMON THAT YOU WISH TO KNOW ABOUT THEY’LL TELL PRETTY MUCH EXACTYLY WHAT THEY’RE BASED ON. For example in case you didn’t know scrafty is based of hip-hop and punk. As well as a lizard. That’s 3 things in one! Its called mixing things up.

  23. While I don’t normally like speaking out on this, I feel there’s enough “LOL OMG ROFLXORZ” and quite hilarious comments to go around, and I think it wouldn’t hurt for me to explain myself a bit in contrast to said article.

    I just want to make a statement that the Pokémon series started with all those original “weird” Pokémon you mentioned included. Adding more “weird” Pokémon with each succeeding generation does not give that same impact nor should have been so loyally followed

    The originals should be looked at as the definitive examples of Pokémon design aesthetic, but there’s a fine line between directly copying the pattern in terms of a general concept (like ITEM Pokémon! Oh look at me, I’m a vacuum cleaner! Just like Voltorb was a ball! Oh look an ice cream Pokémon that changes into two Ice Cream Pokémon just like Magnemite!) and carefully designing each new creature with specific visual traits established in the original 151 monsters (the eyes, and the more natural patterns and imperfections on the more ‘realistic’ ones to name some really obvious examples).

    The originals are mostly immune to retrospective scrutiny because that design launched (and dominated) pop culture consciousness in a way none of any succeeding generation ever will. Repeating that with more and more “weird” and “lazy” Pokémon is kind of a step backwards, and goes hand-in-hand with the way they produce each new game: with redundant excess.

    The originals made sense: They were a relatively small number, had a few weirdos in there, and have all complemented each other. Nowadays, with 640+, it’s become an exasperating drafting mess that – to me – dilutes any chance of it having that same unique pull it used to have.

  24. I’m a big fan of gens 1-3. I played Diamond version for a good while but eventually stopped and went back to older gens, after getting 114 straight wins in online matches in Diamond with only ONE pokemon. Why? It was starting to feel a bit too… cluttered. There seems to be way too many pokemon now, and I think it needs to come to an end EVENTUALLY. I don’t mean an end to the series, just an end to new pokemon. If they are smart, they should be able to come up with new and exciting ideas that dont revolve around new pokemon.

    Now, with that out of the way, I really don’t like the designs of gen 5 pokemon, but not because of the concepts so much as the detail. An ice cream pokemon? I have no problem with that. An ice cream pokemon with such ridiculously basic features? There’s the problem. Sure, older gens didn’t have ridiculously life-like detail, and some also seemed just as lazily drawn, like voltorb and electrode for example. But now, it just seems like almost every single gen 5 pokemon is lazily drawn with bright colors and basic features and they look too silly as a result.

    I won’t be rude and say “gen 5 is stupid” or “gen 5 sucks”. All that I have stated above were opinions and nothing more. I’m not going to stoop so low as to disrespect the opinions of others. If you love gen 5, awesome. Enjoy it!😀 I’ll stick around in gen 1-3 territory, and I’ll enjoy that ^_^

  25. OMG i am so glad u ran out of ur regular posts. I needed a laugh and this article did JUST the trick! The one about Bellsprout made me laugh so hard, then the Jersey Shore pokemon then the one wearing thr skirt. haha thanks:)

  26. You know what? I LOVED the first generation Poke’mon. They were (and still are) awesome. When I was young, I complained when the second and third generations came out because I’d just memorized the first generation. Sure. I’ll remember the next ones too. So I did. Then, a couple years back, Sinnoh came out and I was like “What the hell?! I’m gettin’ a little too old to be memorizing fictional character names!”… But I still did it. But when Unova came out, that was too much. That sunk the memory boat for me, because not only did I suddenly have too many Poke’mon to remember, but most of them were pretty un-creative ideas. I mean, come ON! I think of Unova as a money-making scheme, really. So I tried Black and White, and hated it to bits. It ruined the Poke’mon spirit for me, so I quit after beating the sixth Gym. And THEN, they released Black and White 2. SHAME ON YOU, POKE’MON GAME MAKERS!

    That is all😡

    -Alley Cat


    • You know what I loved? When they replaced most of the Pokemon in the Silver and Gold remakes in Kanto with Gen 4 Pokemon. ;3

  27. I seriously freaking hate people that says ” Gen 1 game is best, It’s so original! Other games suks! ” seriously, at least they’re MAKING the game and did not stop at pokemon red blue green, respect them! Like you can make a better game. Pokemons are based on real life animals and objects, anyway it’s a game, so deal with it!
    ( It’s good to have different opinion from different people, just don’t insult the things you hate )

  28. fucking nostalgiafags piss me off, sure the old pokemon were cool, but think about how it would be if gen 5 came out first, same fucking thing right?

  29. Well, im not against the new pokemon except for some that really look childish, and tere are way to many pokemon. I love Kanto and Johto (I watched them when I was 3 – 7), a bit of Hoenn, barely nothing about Diamond and Pearl and absolutely nothing about black and white.

    It doesnt mean im an adult, im 13 years old and I still love the old pokemon like for example how mewtwo used to be a badass with every pokemon, and I still sometimes watch Kanto episodes. I think the new series just suck bad.

    (i know, this isnt a comment about pokemon appearance, but still)

    Btw I have a 7 year old cousin who likes pokemon Black and white (uh) who doesnt even know who charmander, squirtle and bulbasaur are…

  30. Every generation has its flaws people black and white have a lot of badass pokemon. The only flaws are like stunfisk the icecream cones and trubish and garbodor red and blue flaws are alot more exegute magikarb slopoke ratata but people base it on pokemon not gamplay pokemon black/white(2) have amazing features black tower pwt ect and graphics are so much better so befor you make fun of the new generations just think of the gamplay

  31. I hate when people judge on pokemon apearences yeah I agree pokemon black/white sucked ass but black2 and white 2 were the most amazing onesive ever played

  32. Personaly people need to move on its the same shit I tired of hearin nothing beats 1st gen and the new pokemon suck. Look im pretty sure escavilere beat alot of first gen pokemon I mean its a fucking knight in armor that looks bad ass. And I think chandelure looks pretty cool hydriegon is a freaking three headed dragon that destroys every thing in its path and looks badass Im pretty sure every one thought gen 2 sucked because of new pokemon and so on and so fourth but really people treat the first generation like it has no flaws. So befor you just say a game sucks consider the flaws of the last ones assholes

  33. 90% of the comments are just fucking noobs
    I’m pretty sure they are like this:
    “OMG Only 151 pokemon are real, Who the fuck is Red? Ash is teh best trainur!!1!!!1”
    Most of them don’t know that pokemon started as a game, not an anime that always sucked, even the first seasons


  35. I like how not liking new designs warrants an assault on the older designs, as if that’s gonna change people’s minds on newer designs being 3 degrees below whale shit. Pokemon fans are so funny.

    • I’m fine with someone saying, “That Pokemon’s design is a little awkward,” or, “That Pokemon’s design is a little odd-coloured and it’s kind of an eyesore,” but not when they’re like…, “OH GOD, SWORD POKEMON!!! POKEMON RUINED!!! GEN 1 FOREVER!!! DIE IN HELL GAME FREAK!!! YOU RUINED MY CHILDHOOD!!! WAAHHHH!!!” That’s what I don’t like.

  36. Btw, I care more about the fact that the franchise of the whole f***ing series is greater in Japan than Disney world is in the U.S. Which is why it isn’t uncommon to see full grown adults playing Pokémon black or white 2 on their 3DS’ on a train in between shifts at work in Japan.

  37. Tut tut, Ohh you kids these days. IM ONLY FUCKING 23 AND I WILL PLAY POKEMON IF I WANT TO… Ok. ‘Gawd’.

    • What about the grown ups who scream at kids for liking the new generations? I know a poor kid who had his copy of B and W smashed, and his parents forced him to play Red on Gameboy.

  38. I like all pokemon and agree while some new pokemon are really stupid (vanilluxe, stunfisk, garbodor) i think that gen 5 has some of the coolest pokemon. Look at hydreigon and zekrom. Both awesome pokemon. I wont argue that gen 1 has awesome pokemon, i love mewtwo and charizard, but i think that pokemon designs are generally getting better. I think that the gen 6 starters have the best designs of any basic starter. Yeah they could stuff up the design, like they did with tepig, but i have high hopes. Also in x and y, YOU CAN SIT ON BENCHES AND WALK DIAGONALLY. Yeah pretty awesome. Don’t let nostalgia blind you from the awesomeness of pokemom.

    • If that wasn’t all sarcasm, then you have a good brain and this is probably one of THE ONLY smart comments on this page that actually has some merit to it. Good job!

  39. Okay I gotta admit some gen 5 pokemon suck, like the ice cream baddies, but so did gen 1! (many more in fact) If everyone bases their opinion on what the sprite looks like and evaluating it by that lets look back at tons of gen 1 failures for blue and red (not including the ones on the list):
    Mew: His original design looked like a fetus for crying out loud.

    Golbat: His tounge and mouth are GIGANTIC! In all my life I have never seen a bat who has a mouth the size of it’s body and a tounge that looks like it belongs on one of the Licktung evolutions.

    Geodude/Gravler: A rock with arms and scowl. How great. What is this? The rock now has four arms and dirty smile. At least the garbage pokemon changed in evolution.

    Mr. Mime: He reminds me of one of the three stooges in his original design only he burnt of his eyelids and wants to kill my loved ones. Seriously, look at him. Creepy.

    Dragonite: Okay if I need to say one thing about this guy is that he looks like Baney mixed with puff the magic dragon. Hydregion and Garchomp are very badass to me.

    Now i’m not saying that gen 1 has extremly ugly pokemon, i’m just saying that gen 1 and gen 5 both have quite dumb designs in each of them and each is equally as bad as the other.

  40. Okay guys fifth gen was amazing okay. Just because one or two pokemon sucked (the ice cream cone) doesn’t mean the others weren’t awesome.
    This is just my opinion, and if you disagree, please don’t flame. If you really get that mad, kindly fuck off.

    • I grew up playing pokemon between second and third generation and loved it.them when the fourth came out they were still amazing to me.But when the fifth came out they all looked so weird to me don’t get me wrong I love braviary,hydreigan,golurk,and others but it just seems like they were either getting lazy or running out of ideas.Even the t.v show was pretty bad to me because of ashs random new look ,multiple rivals and team rockets new attitude just bored me.A lot of the new pokemon are the same just a different color unlike the older gens which only had one or two.I’ve stopped watching the show because of this and only play the games but from gen 1-4 which don’t bore me after the first time I beat it.Gen five has it’s ups and downs but to me isnt as good as the others.I have to say that about sixty percent of these pokemon are good ideas that aren’t just trying to make past pokemon look like a joke.

  41. I is getting so aggravating to hear about how bad the vanillish line looks. Omg get over it. Besides generation one has some of the ugliest pokemon in the history of pokemon, but so what i still love them.(p.s i’m right your wrong its just a fact of sorry.(p.s.s im not sorry)

  42. hi matthew i like hoe your pointing out some ugly looking pokemons and all that stuff, but i honestly dont agree all the way but i guess nobody have the same opinion so im not gonna bother but i need to tell that the new pokemon is kinda bad not just how they look but also on there names. ive been playing pokemon on gamboys/nintendo since the first release and i still love pokemon and some day when im gonna have kids they should be pleased to see the old anime too ofcause only if they want to. but if you look on the old anime tv series and then looks on the new ones, they also have got worse, because of the lazy working i guess but i ofcourse dont know if thats actually the problem. the fact is just the highest percent liked the old pokemons more than the newest. i did actually see a little potential in diamond, pearl and platinium but ofc i was a bit nervous about getting disapointed at start but i actually did like those too but now with black and white And Black 2 and white 2 it got a bit wtf why call the games the same ? maybe thats just me but the pokemon is kinda a disaster in my opinion. also mostly i always choose the fire type at start but im getting so bored with fire/fighting pokemon… lazy work in my opinion. but again everyone have different opinions and i hope you maybe agree in some points ^^ well good job and hope to see more bloggings from you or maybe just more arguing on this blog. and i need to say sorry if i have spelled many things wrong correct me please ^^

  43. Your a faggot you muther fucker, the classics rule the new white and black ICECREAM cone shit head pokemon

  44. I’m not a close-minded fool like all the genwunner’s out there who pick on the new designs because of what they are, but I honestly don’t like a majority of Gen 5’s designs. They’re mostly monotone in colour and look like they belong in one of the GBC Pokemon games, but there are some MAJOR exceptions, like Volcarona for example, but then there’s Pokemon like Scolipede which just look discoloured and an eyesore. I don’t hate on any Pokemon game for a dumb reason, unlike genwunner’s, and if a genwunner uses an excuse like, “The designs are bland and mostly discoloured,” then I can agree to that, but if they keep using the “Ice cream Pokemon, gears Pokemon, candy floss Pokemon” argument, then it’s a firm fact that genwunner’s cannot come up with an intelligent argument. Loving the Gen 6 designs, though, especially Honedge.:)

  45. i know that but the reason but i am getting sick of these genwunners too. you do realize that these idiots have ruined my experience of Pokemon for a very long time. my first game is black and white. all the genwunners would be calling me a freak right now but i hope you would not do that

  46. hey im 22 and still play pokemon have a wife and doing pretty well theres nothing wrong with pokemon its just the general publics misconception of a “kids game”

  47. It’s not that they have run out of ideas or anything like that. The problem is that the new Pokemon are overdesigned. Too many spikes, too many colors, they are trying too hard to make them look “cool”.

    Also, their designs are often too goofy and cartoonish to be believable. Just compare things like Gurdurr, with that goofy clown nose, to his 1st gen counterpart (the Machoke line).

    They hardly make realistic and plausible creatures like Ivysaur or Charizard anymore. The first generation had a few goofy pokemon, like Snorlax, whose proportions are completely ridiculous and his face is too simple, but Snorlax was supposed to be goofy. Now even the more serious pokemon look more like characters from some kid’s cartoon than realistic and well proportioned ANIMALS with superpowers.

    • Ugh. Finally, someone got the point I have too! The newer generations look bad because they are overly designed.:) Look at the new Fairy type Sylveon, and compare it to the other Eeveelutions.

      They are not running out of ideas–they have a lot of them, actually. It’s just that they are overdesigning the Poke-species. Take a look at the Gen V Starters and their Evolutions. They look like they wear a dress or something. The problem always lies on, “What look/appearance will the youth of today like?” And please take remember that they are still marketing Pokemon for kids, not for adults like us(though we now count in their market, I think). I totally agree that there’s always a bad design in every generation, maybe it’s just on how we think about it. We love the older generations, so there’s a high chance that we’ll reject new ideas and concepts present in the newer generations.:)

    • You’re painting with broad strokes here, buddy. I wouldn’t exactly call this guy simple: http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/9/9b/111Rhyhorn.png
      And on the contrary: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/File:579Reuniclus.png http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/a/a2/547Whimsicott.png http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/2/2d/518Musharna.png
      And as for the new pokes being too goofy, did you not see hitmonchan up there? He’s not exactly easy to take seriously (I’m not throwing any shade, he’s one of my favorite pokes, but dude thats’ a dress). Some gen 5 pokes are supposed to be goofy, like the Durr line (also, the clown noses make sense, they’re based on circus strongmen), Scrafty, Stunfisk and Bouffalant. But then we have things like Scolopede, Bisharp, Hydreigon and Volcarona. I think they pull the badass look off very well.

      I personally find that my favorite pokemon tend to be those that combine two things. Like, Honchkrow. He’s a bird, but he’s also a mafioso. I think it gives the pokemon more personality. That’s why of all the first route rodents my favorites are Watchog and Diggersby (and bidoof, for lulz). Diggersby ain’t pretty, but he certainly isn’t bland either.

      I grew up with gen 1 btw.

    • I wish people like you didn’t exist. Sadly, there’s a lot of you in the internet and it’s inevitable. Please take your hate elsewhere.

  48. Emerald was my first game (so no nostalgia factor), and I’d say that Gen 1 has the most overall ugliest and uncreative Pokemon ever. Expanding on what this article showed with the dumbness of having three Pokemon as ugly piles of sludge/slime (my most hated thing in Gen 1), Magneton and Dugtrio and Dodrio’s uncreative multiple head evolution, a lot of ugly humanlike Pokemon like Jynx, Machoke, Hitmonchan and Mr. Mime in a world where Pokemon are supposed to be sort of like the counterpart of animals in our world, Voltorb and Electrode, we also have three redundant round pink Normal type Pokemon lines (Jigglypuff, Clefairy, Chansey), and some of the most uncreative names ever: Golem (seriously, Golem. Wow.), Seel, Electrode, Muk, Jynx, etc.
    If people weren’t so nostalgic and consider if all Pokemon’s designs were released at the same time as everything else, Gen 1 would probably have the most bunch of hated Pokemon ever.

    • It’s fascinating that you say that. A lot of people who have Gen 1 nostalgia often complain that the new Pokemon are too fancy and elaborately designed, while you (with Gen 3 nostalgia) complain that the old Pokemon are too simple and uncreative. This is pretty much exactly my point, although coming from a different generation. We like what we’re used to and it’s hard to objectively argue which Pokemon have the best designs.

  49. If Voltorb would had come in Gen I(which it did): “Wow!Cool!Anything else past this is garbage”
    If Voltorb came in Gen V(which it didn;t): “OMG.A Pokeball.How creative.This is stupid”.
    All this is because it came earlier.

  50. Damn, i’m late. Getting of that topic I am seeing so much cancer in the comments section.
    Wow so mature, acting so high and mighty like your opinion is the fucking ten commandments or something. This is why nostalgia is extremely stupid. It clouds your mind and deprives you of all logic. Genwunners are fueled by nostalgia and will always fail to come up with a decent argument. AHH MA GAWD ALL THE POKEMANZ ARE SO ARTIFICIAL POKEMON RUINED WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO UNORIGINAL WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH SO COMPLICATED WAH WAH WAH WAH like spoiled snot-nosed brats that bitch and complain when ever they do not get what they want. Fuck them. Fuck all of their bullshit “statements” and fuck their shitty whining whenever ANYTHING new comes out. I can agree that some of the new Pokemon are stupid, but according to genwunners all of them are stupid. These cancerous faggots can’t accept change and whine too damn much, I wish for the day where they SHUT THE FUCK UP. If you hate the games so much, THEN DO NOT PLAY THEM! IT’S THAT FUCKING SIMPLE! This list would not even be created in the first place if these Genwunners did not exist. I wish these people would not exist but they do because of nostalgia.

    AH MAH GAWD NEW POKEMANZ SO ARTIFICIAL-Then what the fuck are these then?
    Even the Pokedex says Porygon was a fake Pokemon created by man. And which Gen is it?
    THE FIRST. So quit bitching. Artificial Pokemon have been around since the beginning.

    Cry all you want, but the evidence stands.

    It’s pretty fucking obvious what animals these are.
    There are still animals in the new gens stop complaining!

    And some genwunners are not even smart enough to come up with THOSE arguements.
    They keep reiterating how OH SO HORRIBLE the ice cream pokemon and the karate pokemon, the trash pokemon,the gears pokemon and the sword pokemon are when they forget about these.

    These designs are just as bad and a complete eyesore like some of the Pokemon you say are horrible in the newer generations. Take A LONG GOOD LOOK at them genwunners, and realize HOW FUCKING STUPID you are.

    Oh, one more thing, if you try to play the “Oh you have not played Gen 1 so you have no right to talk” card, I should let you know, I HAVE played Gen 1 and unlike you, I can actually embrace and comprehend change unlike you fucking retarded genwunners. It’s fine if you like Gen 1 above all the rest, but do not EVER spread your shit opinion around like a cancer, attack anyone who does not conform to your beliefs and preach about about it like the fucking gospel. It would make me and everyone a lot happier and help us recover our sanity from you people if you would not do that ever in the future.

  51. Okay, looks like I did not spam my reply, It’s just that I clicked the Reply button multiple times and I thought my comment would appear multiple times. Whoops.

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